Burton Durand
Store clerk in Maurice: “Aay! I need a translator over here!”
Manager: “French tourist?”
Store clerk: “Nah, Bossier, I think.”
Burton Durand
Yankee Bachelor on Bourbon: “Yoooo, let’s get another round of shots while we wait for the rain to stop!”
Server: “It ain’t raining. They just waterin’ the plants on the balcony, baby.”
[Read this: Satire: Making Roux from Scratch]
Burton Durand
Girl eating crawfish: “Ew, I don’t know how people can suck the heads.”
Friend: “I’ve seen you do a lot worse Freshman year, Celeste.”
Cashier at Sephora: “Your skin is incredible. What
serum are you using?”
Customer: “Nothing. My car's AC broke.”
Burton Durand
Woman to swollen-lipped maltese: “See what I told you about gettin’ in them bees’s business, Claudine?”
[Read this: What Your Favorite Mardi Gras Throw Says About You]
Woman to friend: “I can’t wait for vacation. I need to get away from everybody.”
Friend: “When y’all leave’?”
Woman: “July 3rd.”
Friend: “Where y’all goin’?”
Woman: “Destin.”
Burton Durand
Teenage girl trying on clothes: “But, mom, everyone’s wearing these!!”
Mom: “Yeah, and they all look fonky.”
Man: “Everything is so dang expensive. It’s ridiculous.”
Same man: “Hey, wanna see my new custom .308?”
