Rules for the Road

Carol and I love to travel, and by that I mean hopping into the truck and driving several thousand miles just to see new country. Our personal best was a 21-day, 7,500-mile road trip to the Pacific Northwest, and we never spent more than one night in the same motel.

I should also mention that I do all of the driving. I truly enjoy it, and Carol certainly enjoys letting me.

Surviving such trips and still being on talking terms at the end requires a routine. Over the years I have developed some rules that work well for us. So, here in time for the summer travel season, are my Rules for the Road.

1. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. On just about every trip, we find ourselves stuck on the road because of wrecks or construction. Once you leave the gas station it’s a crap shoot as to when you’ll be able to stop at another one. This rule becomes even more important the older you get.

2. Make a short stop every 100 miles to stretch your legs. Sure, I can drive a lot longer than that before stopping, but why should I? The whole point of the trip is to enjoy yourself, and it’s fun to stop at a funky roadside gas station/gift shop/diner/sporting goods store and spend ten minutes looking around. Making regular, short stops will keep you alert, reduce aches and cramps, and give you something to look forward to.

3. Eat a big breakfast and dinner—skip lunch. Most motels serve a free breakfast. Some are just a continental breakfast with the ubiquitous waffle maker, but many serve a full, hot meal. By eating at the motel, you save a lot of money and avoid the mid-afternoon drowsiness that inevitable sets in after a big lunch. There’s nothing more miserable, and dangerous, than trying to drive when all you really want to do is take a nap.

4. Eat all of your bacon. I adopted this rule when our youngest daughter, Amie, was traveling with us in Oregon and didn’t want all her bacon. Never, ever, leave bacon on your plate. The chickens donated the eggs, but the pigs made a sacrifice, and you have to respect that.

5. Get off the Interstate occasionally. Turn off the GPS, get out the map, and look for historical sites, museums, and natural wonders on roads that go in the general direction you are traveling. One of our memorable trips was taking an impromptu detour through Idaho’s Thousand Springs Valley, where beautiful waterfalls literally shoot out of the basalt cliffs. On another occasion in Arizona, we left the Interstate and drove along the old Route 66 and actually saw some Burma Shave signs.

6. Don’t let your gas tank get below half full. We once drove along a stretch of Hwy 6 in Nevada where it was 175 miles between gas stations. Luckily I had filled the tank at our last stop. Keeping your tank topped off is a good habit to develop, especially in the west where gas stations can be few and far between.

7. If possible, do not go back the same way you came. This is just a habit I have always had. Why go back the same way when you go another way and see new country? On a side note, I find it interesting that Gen. Ulysses S. Grant had this same trait.

8. Take a break from the restaurant chains and try out the small diners where all of the trucks are parked. That being said, this old rule is not foolproof. The lunch menu for one popular restaurant in Iowa offered a meat and two sides but three of the four sides were potato dishes.

9. Unless absolutely necessary, don’t be tied down by reservations. Admittedly, there have been a few nights when we had a hard time finding a room—like the time there was a motorcycle rally in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and the weekend in Minnesota when even the local folks were on the road looking at the autumn leaves. But usually it works out well and gives you the freedom to drive at your own pace without worrying about getting somewhere at a specific time. Invest $15 in The Next Exit, a book (and now also an app) that lists motels, restaurants and other points of interest at exits on major roads in each state.

10. When you start getting tired in the afternoon, put on Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Down at the Twist and Shout” and CRANK ‘ER UP! Enough said.

Dr. Terry L. Jones is professor emeritus of history at the University of Louisiana at Monroe who has received numerous awards for his books and outdoor articles.