The Unexpected Ozarks

I admit it. I imagined Branson, Missouri, as a place filled with restaurants featuring all-you-can-eat Kuntry Kookin’ and shows headlined by guys in straw hats and overalls, playing banjos.

And there’s plenty of that to be found for sure, often in combination. Even the Golden Corral Buffet in Branson (self-proclaimed as the largest in the world) has a showroom featuring the live stylings of songstress Barbara Fairchild.

But on my first ever visit, I discovered there’s much more to Branson than all that. For example, I had one of the most spectacular meals I’ve enjoyed in a long while at College of the Ozarks—on a mountaintop overlooking Branson.

Students at the college don’t pay tuition; each works his or her way through school with an on-campus job, which the entire school has been designed to provide. My pork medallions at lunch were from hogs raised on the college’s farm and served over polenta made from cornmeal ground in the college’s gristmill. The salad greens came from the college greenhouses and the butter from the campus dairy.

The restaurant is housed in a log cabin, a replica of Dobyns Hall, the first building on the college’s Point Lookout campus. The original log cabin building had been featured at the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair, housing the state of Maine’s exhibit. A group of physicians purchased the lodge and had it transported by train to Point Lookout where it was used as a hunting and fishing cabin. Unfortunately, it fell victim to fire in 1930. Now called The Keeter Center, the new structure is more than 99,000 square feet—ten times the size of the original—and houses a hotel and convention facility, all student-staffed. Be sure to tour the beautiful campus before you leave; and make a stop at the Ralph Foster Museum, which houses one of the most wildly eclectic collections I’ve ever encountered—everything from a dress Brenda Lee wore as a child star, to the jalopy featured on the Beverly Hillbillies TV show, to a collection of vintage Kewpie Dolls, whose creator lived just outside of Branson.

Back in town, the shows really are what it’s all about. The Dutton Family Show is one of the most popular in Branson, and it does have a fair measure of corny humor and country music; but this really is a remarkably talented family, many of whose members are classically trained musicians. There is even a classical music component of the show that highlights that training. And where else would you step up to the counter to order your Diet Pepsi during intermission to discover (as I did) that you’re being served by one of the performers? A very hard-working, entrepreneurial family indeed. (They also run a motel out back.)

Another favorite performance came from the a cappella group Cat’s Pajamas, which competed in the NBC show The Sing-Off. Spot-on harmonies with, once again, a repertoire designed to appeal to a broad range of musical tastes.

Between shows, be sure to save a little time to find the unassuming Branson Centennial Museum. It’s a small building in the old downtown, with modest, old-school exhibits. But it boasts something more fascinating than the latest high-tech interactive displays—passionate docents. They’ll take you back a century and beyond, to a time when the area was already popular with visiting hunting clubs from as far away as New Orleans and when the biggest attraction was Marvel Cave discovered in the 1800s, today a National Natural Landmark.

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An hour down the road, Thomas, the Eureka Springs town traffic cop, is standing in the spot where he’s often found on a hopping Saturday night—not in the middle of an intersection as you might imagine, but in the middle of the town’s main park—leading the weekly community drum circle.

 Just across the border from Missouri in Arkansas, Eureka Springs climbs up the side of a mountain and is populated by an unlikely mélange that includes lots of retired hippies, gay folk, and tourists who’ve come to shop and see the country’s largest Passion Play performance—all brought together by a mutual love for this particularly atmospheric and inspiring place.

My two primary activities while in Eureka Springs were perfect complements to one another—walking and eating. You’ll need good walking shoes because the directions to where you’re going next are often straight up, using one of the countless handy staircases that populate the mountainside. Think of it as mountain climbing with Victorian architecture, great shopping, and gourmet food along the way. I made a stop about halfway up at Caroline’s Collectibles to catch my breath. There, I bought a greeting card and watched as the “working bunny” for which this shop is famed did his one and only trick while sitting on the checkout counter—move his head to the left to grasp my receipt, then back to the right to offer the receipt for my retrieval. He and a backup rabbit perform this trick all day long to the amusement of virtually everyone.

Further up, you’ll find St. Elizabeth, the only church in which one enters through the bell tower, walks down the mountain, and finally enters the sanctuary. The springs for which the city is named are also dotted up and down the mountainside, each carefully landscaped.

There are countless dining options in Eureka Springs. A favorite for me was the Thursday night “local’s” special at the Grand Taverne located inside The Grand Central, the oldest hotel in the city and one of Eureka Springs’ many whimsical Victorian structures. Each week there’s a rotating special, along with my choice for the evening—tilapia piccata. And as if a delicious, beautifully plated meal for $14.99 weren’t enough of a treat, that evening was one of those on which Jerry Yester, from the band The Lovin’ Spoonful, was stationed at the piano. He lives in the area and drops in a couple of times a week when he’s not on tour.

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“People always look for Rosie when they’re going through our galleries,” noted Diane Carroll from the Crystal Bridges Museum—another hour down the road in Bentonville, Arkansas. Bentonville is, of course, the home of Walmart; and this museum, housing one of the finest collections of American art in the world, is championed by Sam Walton’s daughter, Alice.

Norman Rockwell’s brawny “Rosie the Riveter” was a highlight for me, as were two historically significant portraits of George Washington. The contemporary collection has just added its fourth Warhol.

And the building itself is an impressive piece of contemporary art, designed by noted international architect Moshe Safdie. He’s devised a series of different pods,” noted Carroll. “The art galleries terrace through multiple levels.”

The grounds that surround the museum are equally impressive.

“Our grounds are planted so that there is something of interest in every season,” said Carroll, adding that April through mid-May are peak times for blooming dogwoods and redbuds. There are three and a half miles of trails winding through the grounds, dotted with more than a dozen sculptures. Her insider tip for visitors is to visit on Wednesday or Friday when the museum is open late and you can enjoy dinner in its excellent restaurant and tour the gardens at dusk. The fun even continues after dark.

“We have an installation called ‘Bucky Balls’ that puts on a light show at night,” Carroll said.

Plenty of time for this visit to the Ozarks) make the short trek into downtown Bentonville, where Sam Walton’s first store has been transformed into a Walmart museum. To be sure, there’s a corporate spin here; but it’s still fun to see Sam’s old pickup on display and—my favorite—a wall of items returned to Walmart stores for curious reasons, including a hand-mixer returned because it was “possessed.”

Details. Details. Details.

Crystal Bridges: 
crystalbridges.org

I’d recommend Eureka Springs as your home base for this adventure. It has wonderfully eclectic accommodation offerings, from a myriad of B&Bs to the historic (and reputedly haunted) 1886 Crescent Hotel and Spa to the aforementioned Grand Central at the bottom of the mountain. You’ll find a list of options, along with a calendar of events, at eurekachamber.com. And as evidence of just how eclectic you’ll find Eureka Springs, that calendar includes the upcoming Spring Diversity Weekend and performances of the Passion Play.

I found all of my Branson show tickets for half price at branson2for1tickets.com. Like many tourist towns, this one is riddled with places that promise half-price tickets. But while most come with a timeshare pitch, this business is exactly as it’s billed. Not every show is available, but there were plenty from which to choose from.

Dining at the Keeter Center at College of the Ozarks is hugely popular, so reservations are recommended. keetercenter.edu.